Janice Bell: A simple Game of Shops somehow turned into a Game of Thrones

“And the blinkin weather certainly doesn’t help,” she moaned.

Now I don’t know about your kids, but my grandchildren, Eilidh and Taylor, age eight, seemed to be driving my daughter around the bend more than ever over the last couple of weeks.

“Honestly mum.” She sounded exasperated. “Maybe it’s because they are indoors more than usual, but they just argue non-stop from the minute they open their eyes in the morning, until they fall asleep”.

“They can’t be that bad.” I chuckled. “After all, they’re just kids.”

“Just kids? She nipped at me. “Well, you take them for a while and see how you get on, because I’ve had enough.”

“OK. I will,” I said, thinking that Jenna can be a bit of a drama queen at times.

Having taken the following Friday off work, I promised the youngsters that they could come and stay with me on the Thursday night and I would take them to the Play Zone the following day.

All started well when I picked them up.

“Can we, can we, can we?” They repeated over and over.

But, as I was delighted to see them, I just laughed and put it down to their excitement at staying with me.

And I have to say that for the first hour or so they were absolutely fine. We made dinner together and tidied up the kitchen and then it was time to play together.

And that’s when it all kicked off.......

A simple Game of Shops somehow turned into a Game of Thrones, and Civil War had certainly begun.

“I want to be the shopkeeper.” Demanded Eilidh.

“No. It’s my turn to be the shopkeeper.” Argued Taylor.

“I want the blue car.”

“But red’s your favourite colour”.

“Well, it’s blue now.”

Bickering ensued at every turn and the constant disagreements continued.

“No chance.” Taylor pushed Eilidh away. “I got it first.”

Eilidh started crying and I had just about had enough.

“But it’s my turn to....” Eilidh sobbed.

“But....”

“It’s my turn to sit on that chair.”

“I was on it first.”

“Enough.” I yelled like a banshee. “Get everything back in to the toy box because we’re not playing at shops anymore.”

Eilidh’s cries were now deafening, and by the piercing sounds she made, anyone passing would have thought she had just had a limb amputated, without anaesthetic.

I covered my ears as I headed to the fridge for a medicinal glass of wine.

How could my little cherubs cause so much chaos over nothing? I wondered.

Next morning, the fight to reclaim the throne continued. Only this time it was in my car.

“You said it was my turn to sit in the front.” Taylor reminded me.

Here we go again. I muttered to myself whilst shaking my head.

But somehow the tormented look on my face had hit a nerve with Taylor as he turned to Eilidh and out of the blue offered her the front seat.

“It’s OK Eilidh.” He stepped back out of the car and pointed. “You can sit in the front seat.”

At last. I sighed. A bloody compromise.

Completely bamboozled by the kind and unexpected gesture from her opposition, Eilidh stood back and queried.

“But why is he letting me sit in the front seat?”

Argh..... Deep breaths Janice. Deep breaths.

I now had no viable answer. “Because he just did.” I squawked.

“But....”

The magical dragon I had now become was fuming and spouting fire and flames and the two tearaways didn’t know whether they should get in the car or stay out of it.

“I’m calling your mother.” Was my retort, because I really had no clue what else to do.

“No, please.” They pleaded in unison. “We will be good.”

Placing my mobile phone in the dashboard holder as a visual threat of my next move, I secured their seatbelts and headed to the Play Zone.

“You lot having fun?” Asked my good friend Christine who occasionally worked there.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” I drawled. “Any chance I could leave them here and come back for them in an hour.” I joked. But secretly hoped my good friend would take me up on my sly suggestion.

“No chance.” Christine laughed as she poured me a much needed cup of tea.

“Christine, they argue over everything.” My face was now contorted. “And I mean everything”.

Unexpectedly, Christine flew off her chair and intercepted two youngsters who had started brawling with each other.

“Janice that’s nothing.” She was out of puff as she sat back down. “At least they haven’t come to blows yet.”

And sure enough, the two brawling kids were at it again, only this time they were joined by their parents and then their friends.

Before we knew it, a noisy rammy was in full-swing.

Finally, the sun shone just as I dropped the kids home.

“How were they?” Jenna looked less than pleased knowing her serenity had come to an end.

“Oh, fine.” I winked at my wee cherubs whose eyes pleaded with me for mercy.

“No bother at all.”

“Same time next week?” Asked Jenna.

“The thing is.” I lied. “I can’t take any more holiday days till after the schools are back.”

“Sorry”.