One of the most common questions I get asked by women, is how do I get him to settle down? There’s no easy answer to this question because even when displaying similar characteristics, every man is different. There are about a million reasons why a man won’t commit; fear, regret, fear of regret, even downright stubbornness. The reasons can at times be ridiculously simple. I must stress, you shouldn’t have to trick your man into settling down, if it’s necessary to go this far perhaps you’re both with the wrong person? However, what I can do is give you a few tips to at the very least, plant a seed.

1. Remind him what he’s got. You know that way when you come out of a relationship and you subconsciously feel the need to post dozens of Facebook photos of yourself in particularly sociable situations? For some reason we feel the need to prove to our ex that you are so much better off without them and life has never been better. If you apply this thinking in the right way, it might just remind your man how lucky he is to have you. Men are terrible for falling into a rut, we act like we don’t care most of the time, but then threaten to break up with us and we’re clinging to your ankles like a child in a supermarket. You shouldn’t have anything to prove to your partner, but over the holiday season feel free to leave a few subtle photographic reminders of what a catch you are.

2. Take him for a big night out. One of the biggest obstacles to commitment is the fear of missing out. We always want what we don’t have, so when guys are presented with the possibility of missing out on a few wild nights out they suddenly panic, even if they weren’t much of a party boy in the first place. The older we get, the less stamina we have as well. At 18, I could go out three nights in a row and play football first thing in the morning. At 29, I can barely keep my eyes open past midnight and take two days to recover. Take your man for a big night out, it’ll prove a gentle reminder that he’s not the teenager he once was.

 

3. Get the best possible Sky package. I wish I was kidding, but if he’s never out the pub because it’s the only place to watch the football, then bring the football back home.

 

4. Let him have the boys over from time to time. Sometimes a relationship is about giving your partner what they want even if you don’t quite like it (this of course works both ways). Don’t let your man become desperate to escape the home by letting him have the boys over once in a while – assuming they don’t trash the place that is. Letting your man have his friends round makes him feel like he’s got the best of both worlds, great friends and an even better girlfriend.

 

5. Ask him. It’s the simplest way. I’m not saying propose, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have an honest conversation. Ask him what he wants, where he sees things going, what he wants from life. Sometimes us men quite frankly are just a bit lazy and don’t think to initiate these kinds of things, but if the idea is put to us it might be a little more well received than you imagined.

6. Remember not to force the issue - another clear-cut sign you’re in the wrong relationship. When you’re with the right person everything should naturally fall into place, but sometimes a gentle nudge in the right direction doesn’t go amiss.

A Year to Remember

I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 2015 has been crazy to say the least and a year I certainly won’t forget in a hurry. This year I fulfilled my ambition to walk the whole of the Camino de Santiago in Spain, I started my first business, narrowly missed out on UK dating blogger of the year, discovered I’ll be an uncle for the first time and will be topping it all off by appearing on BBC Radio Scotland answering your questions about dating and relationships. One of the highlights however, was being given the opportunity to write for you lovely people, so thank you once again for all your support, your comments, emails, twitter follows, Christmas cards and questions, it really does mean a lot.

Wishing you all an amazing year ahead,

PTB.