I WAS curious to know what my pal Susan’s holiday plans were.

“Have you booked to go abroad again this year?,” I asked.

“What?,” she shrieked. “After last year’s shambles.”

And I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as Susan regaled her holiday fiasco in Benalmadena last August.

“I took the bull by the horns and booked myself a seven day sunshine beak to Spain on my own.”

“Oh well,” I surmised. “I suppose going away on your own is better than not going at all.”

“All I wanted Janice, was a quiet relaxing week lazing and chilling by the pool.”

However, apparently the holiday got off to a bit of a poor start as the flight was delayed by nearly an hour.

“These things happen,” I assured my pal.

“Yes, they sure do, but later as I pulled my new lightweight suitcase off the bus, I noticed one of the wheels was missing, which meant I had to drag the heavy case screeching all the way past the packed swimming pool area to reception.”

I was embarrassed just thinking about it.

“Finally, exhausted and crabbit.” Susan explained.

“I was shown to my luxury room with a sea view.”

“Only it turned out to be no more than a cupboard with a tiny window which I could barely see out of.”

I shook my head.

“Eventually, after much arguing, I was moved to a room which at least had a view,” she added.

“Oh well, at least things worked out in the end.”

“Not really,” Susan sighed.

“At the end of my first day in the sunshine I developed prickly heat which made me scratch and scratch until my skin was red raw,” she explained.

“And …… it was making me very irritable.”

“So next day, one of the holidaymakers, who had noticed my scarlet skin, suggested I spend time in the pool as the cool water would help sooth my skin.”

”Good idea,” I agreed. “That would have done the trick.”

“Well, it did,” continued Susan.

“And I was loving it, until a water polo ball travelling at 100 miles an hour struck me on the side of the face sending my fake Armani sunglasses flying into the air.

“I tell you Janice, by the time I crawled out of the pool and flopped on to the sun lounger, I was in a foul mood.”

“Oh poor you,” I sympathised.

“That evening, resembling Quasimodo, I hoped to dine quietly in the dining room when the waiter approached me and asked if I was on my own.”

“When I said yes, he requested in a very loud voice that I move to a small table so that he could use mine for a family.”

“I felt as though I had been banished into a dark corner because I was single and a bit scary looking.”

I could feel Susan’s humiliation.

She added: “Next day wasn’t much better because whilst chilling by the pool, I suddenly became aware of a creepy crawly tickling my right arm.

“And when I tried to shoo it away, it landed on my face and bit me on my right eyelid.”

“No way.” I couldn’t believe Susan’s luck (or lack of it!).

“And then ….. not long after I returned from the medical centre, whilst sitting by the poolside an unexpected gust of wind caused a neighbouring sunbed to fly up and whack me right on the back on my head!”

This was sounding like the holiday from hell for poor Susan.

“My last day and I was feeling rather sorry for myself so decided to call home and speak to my mum,” Susan added.

“It’s comforting to hear a familiar voice when you’re stuck abroad feeling miserable,” I agreed.

“It sure is Janice.”

“Only, when she spoke she sounded like she was bubbling.”

“Susan, I don’t know how to tell you this,” she sniffed.

“But Ruben’s dead.”

Apparently Susan’s mum thought it best to break the bad news before she returned home.

“I was in total shock,” she snivelled. “I had had Ruben since he was a tiny puppy.”

“And I was never so glad to board a bus to the airport in my life.”

I nodded in agreement.

“I mean, I had one red eye which wouldn’t stop watering, a purple bruise on the side of my face, a huge lump on the back of my head, and I was still scratching like crazy!

“To top it all Janice, somehow, I boarded the Thomas Cook bus instead of the Thomson’s bus back to the airport, and two stops into the journey I was thrown off the bus as it was full!

“Home sweet home for you then Suzie,” I chuckled as I realised there was good reason why Susan was reluctant to travel abroad again.