The thought of going to the dentist has always terrified me and I assumed that this fear would lessen as I got older, but no, I am still as nervous as I was when I was 10.

“Do you think I could have a jag to freeze my mouth?” I asked the baby faced dental hygienist.

“I don’t think there will be any need for that,” she curtly replied.

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“After all, I’m just giving your teeth a little scrape here and there, so you should be fine.”

Fine. I thought to myself. I’ll decide if I’m fine.

And sure enough the second she started poking about my mouth with her shiny sharp dental tools my right foot shot up in the air as thought I had been stung with a cattle prod.

“Did you feel that?” she asked.

“Mmmmmm yep, I sure did.”

“Can I just have a jag to freeze my mouth?” I asked again.

“Afterall, it’ll be much easier for both of us if you just freeze everything from the neck up!”

Soon one side of my face began to freeze and my heart began to slow down to a more relaxed rate allowing her to carry on with her work.

“There there,” she patted my back like a child as I slid off the huge leather seat.

“Same time next week for the other side?”

“Yesh,” I slurred into a tissue as though I had had a mini stroke.

The following week, without being asked, she had wisely prepared the syringe to freeze the other side of my mouth.

Relieved that my hygiene treatment was over for another few months I asked her.

“Have you heard about those new water pressure dental flossers?”

“I sure have,” she said.

“They’re great, but they can be a bit tricky to use.”

And I wondered how difficult it could be to floss your teeth with water.

“Watch the You Tube video and it’ll show you how it works,” she suggested.

The young lass smiled at me and looked as though she was about to give me a kids sticker for my lapel for being brave as I thanked her again for causing me minimal discomfort.

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Back home whilst sipping tea through a straw and squeezing a Kit-Kat finger into the ‘good’ side of my mouth, I decided to go online and check out this new gadget.

‘The Dental Water Flosser will give you healthier gums in just 14 days.' It assured.

‘A combination of water pressure and pulsations will clean deep between teeth and below the gum line where regular flossing can't reach.’

Sounds ideal I thought.

‘It’s’ safe, gentle and perfect for anyone with implants, crowns, bridges and periodontal pocket.’

Now I had no clue what periodontal pockets were, but reckoned that all-in-all this was the gadget for me.

Five days later my Amazon parcel arrived, and having studied the demonstration video twice, I was confident it would be a dawdle.

I filled the machine with warm water and selected one of the many nozzles and inserted it into the toothbrush style handle.

Having set the dial, I turned the machine on and bent over the kitchen sink.

However, when I pressed the handle button on, the water jet shot out so fast that it never made it anywhere near my mouth.

Water shot up in the air like a baby boy having a pee as I quickly turned it off again.

Water was now running down my kitchen window and I surmised that I shouldn’t turn it on again until it was actually in my mouth.

Second time lucky I thought, but next minute, argh……The bloody water shot up inside my nostril causing me to drop the handle in the sink which was now out of control drenching everything within reach.

Coughing and spluttering I dabbed my dripping face with kitchen roll and composed myself before trying again.

Taking a deep breath I bent over the sink but again I misjudged the timing and nearly took my right eye out with the water pressure jet.

More kitchen roll and more dabbing.

I thought it wise to turn the pressure down slightly until I got to grips with the bloody thing.

Third time lucky and all was going well as I leant over the kitchen sink whilst water poured out of my mouth.

That was….. Until I attempted to floss the back of my front teeth.

Well….. The water missed my front teeth and shot out of my mouth hitting my kitchen blind, turning it back round I then soaked my fringe and was soon sodden from the neck down as water poured from my chin.

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“Easy to use my ass?” I relayed the saga to my pal Christine.

“I imagine it does work.” I laughed.

“So long as you make sure you wear a wet suit, a shower cap and a pair of safety goggles!”