If it is too hard …

Have you ever had one of those moments where you hear a sentence or maybe just a word and it changes everything?

My moment came when I was listening to an interview with Mr Jon Bon Jovi (my true love since I was 9 years old). He spoke about writing lyrics for his new album of the time and said that there was a song he had tried to write but it just didn’t work. Did he try and fix it? No, he wrote one that did...

When I look back at my own life I can see so many situations that I wasted time, energy and money on trying to make things work that on reflection probably weren’t working for a good reason.( Marriage springs to mind)

I see the same with clients where they are sacrificing themselves, finances, peace of mind or maybe their sanity trying desperately to conquer this conundrum, which sadly a lot of the time, was not their problem to begin with.

Whether it is driven by vanity, fear of failure, stubbornness or reluctance to let go we are hard wired to feel as if it’s a failure to walk away from the problem, when it’s actually the complete opposite. This is a wonderfully liberating concept when you become used to using it.

If something is too hard, it’s often a sign that we shouldn’t do it. 

When we spend all of our time focusing on a single problem, conversation or situation we place it in the subconscious mind, so obsessing about it becomes something we do naturally. And, because we are using the Sub – conscious rather that the rational conscious part of our mind, it is almost impossible to make a good rational decision from that place.

Things that I see making a big difference with clients are often very simple. But, as we know it’s much easier to see what’s happening inside the box when you take a step outside it to look in.

Here's a few handy tips:

1- Give your self-permission to not make a decision about the issue that day.

2- Ask yourself, what you honestly want, not what you feel is expected of you

3- What advice would you give to someone that you care about in the same position

4- Write down a list of pros and cons.

5- Remember, if it feels wrong it probably is

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