As I opened my wardrobe to choose my attire for the day, I do what I always do and run through my day ahead in my mind.

Am I working with young adults or children today? Is it skype or face-to-face? Am I riding the horse at lunch time? And so on.

Today is a stress management clinic so I had to create three outfits to cover the three days of delivery. This, of course, should have been an incredibly easy choice as I had three black suits right in front on me. So where was the dilemma?

Well, at least two of the suits would require wearing a garment underneath and those garments - well they are my GOOD tops.

Even as I am writing this and realising just how stupid it sounds, I am still having the battle with myself. That little voice in my head that says “you have to keep them good”.

It was the same at the weekend when I conceded that our bulldog had finally won the battle to keep the couch she had claimed and that I needed to buy one for the humans in the house. Even though it’s an integral piece of the home, I felt as if I was buying a house. However, ironically, a purchase of something costing the same for the horse is snapped up in an instant because ‘they’ need it.

And there we have it. If we are doing or buying something for someone or something else’s comfort or happiness it’s a ‘need’. It’s a much heavier decision when it comes to doing something for ourselves … then it’s ‘JUST’ something for us.

I was glad to hear, when speaking to a friend the other day, that I am not alone in this behaviour.

Why on earth do we keep things that we could and should be using every day for an occasion that happens once or maybe twice a year. Or, worse still, keep it in the vain hope of something happening which never does. And, of course, by the time we accept that time has run out, then the item in question is no longer ‘good’. It’s OLD and is soon, unworn, en route to the charity shop.

I remember hearing Lorraine Kelly talking about how we women like to keep our nice underwear and jewellery for a special event and how we struggle along in bits of tat the other 320 days a year!

WHY do we do it to ourselves? Is it guilt? Brought up in an age where we are expected to work hard, do well BUT never to aim for the stars or aim to high as “it’s a longer way to fall”? etc. Or is because we grew up listening to phrases like “it will do” or my favourite “if it’s good enough for so and so, then its good enough for you”.

You see our thoughts do exactly that to us. We slip in to ways of thinking that stays safe and ticks all the necessary boxes … but doesn’t dare to desire or be bold. We just keep thinking the way we always thought and so, of course, it is no surprise we keep getting the same disappointing and frustrating results.

Well not on my watch any more. It’s time to break out the nice knickers (or new socks for the gents). It’s time to wear the best ‘good’ top or shoes or whatever makes you feel a million dollars whenever you want. It’s time to dare to dream and to dream big.

Dare to desire what you truly would like to achieve and work towards it. Think about it every day and indulge in every detail. You may just be surprised at how much you like the new you.

Have fun Sandie X Sandie Robertson is a respected lifestyle coach and #1 bestselling author of “I Believe I can” An expert on anxiety and stress management she has helped hundreds of clients with problems from weight loss to sports performance, trauma to grief. If want her to help you contact her on www.sandierobertson.com