THEY are everywhere at the moment, aren’t they? Those annoying creatures that buzz around, winding everyone up, irritating us to the point we want to slap them into next week.

I’m not talking about politicians getting in some last minute election chat outside the poll stations today.

I am referring to the sleekit little blood-sucker that’s become the king of all pests, the midgie.

Horrific reports that the Scottish midge population could reach 21 BILLION this summer has me reaching for the hazmat suit, as these little blighters love taking a bite out of me.

They gleefully avoid my children and husband and make a beeline for me, forming little attack clouds above my head and taking turns, in some kind of evil insect rota, to dive in for the kill.

It makes garden dwelling tricky, although the saving grace is that I do live in one of the windiest places in Scotland (there’s a reason all those wind turbines were built nearby) and when it’s windy, the midges don’t hang around.

The boys and I were having a discussion recently about why midges don’t come indoors – unlike other insects such as flies and wasps and bees, which seem to have no problem doing it.

I did a bit of research and although I couldn’t find out if that was true (they do seem to come indoors if the light is on, and they love the humid, hot atmosphere of a tent which is one more reason not to go camping) I did find out some really interesting facts about midges.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a fan, but there is something pretty impressive about the way a creature so small (just a two-millimetre wingspan) can bring a nation to its knees.

Midges cost the Scottish tourist industry hundreds of millions pounds a year in lost revenue, because people just avoid visiting in midgie season, and working days are lost in the forestry industry because clouds of midges make working outdoors impossible.

They have had everything thrown at them over the decades, and as a result, have evolved into some kind of wicked Supermidge - Culicoides impunctatus - a villain worthy of anything Batman and Wonderwoman have had to face.

Freezing winters don’t help, because they reduce the number of predators, like bats and birds, which feast on midges, and they are not put off by rain or darkness. Even a mosquito net is useless against them, because they are so small, they just scoot right on through.

Dr Alison Blackwell, a respected midge expert (cool job title), has spent years researching them and her website (www.smidge.co.uk) even includes a Midge Forecast, which I am now slightly obsessed with. (At the moment, things are looking good for Glasgow, with the rating set at 1 – ‘No Flies On Me.’ Pity the poor people in Glencoe, however, who are looking at a 3 – ‘Time to Make Yourself Repellent’ over the next five days, and God help us if we reach a 5, which really doesn’t bear thinking about….)

Anyway, thank goodness for people like Dr Blackwell, and UK bite prevention expert (another cool job title) Howard Carter who is taking one for the team by spending the summer on Skye to find out even more about these insects.

He informs travel doctors, GPs and nurses at the Wilderness Medicine Conference, and has coached the Royal Geographical expeditions, so he knows a thing or two.

But even he doesn’t really have an answer for how to beat them. Until someone invents something better than citronella candles, beekeeper hats and DEET sprays, it looks like we will be at the mercy of the malevolent midge for some time to come....