MY friend swears blind she heard a mother in Waitrose on Byres Road call out to her two young sons, who were larking about, "Naughty boys don't get brioche!"

Naughty boys got a threat of a missed dinner when I was younger but luckily those days have passed and now children are corralled into best behaviour with artisanal bread-based sanctions.

There's nothing more delightful than a bit of middle-class banter. There used to be a great web page, Overheard In the West End, that curated some of the best sounds of Hillhead, Kelvingrove and the environs.

It was heavily populated by the one-liners of blithe Glasgow University students talking about everything from trust funds to under-seasoned grouse and a fear of being chibbed on the night bus.

There's been some crackers over the West End's noise complaints.

Firstly, Hillhead Bookclub will take over part of Vinicombe Street next month for a day time festival.

Nearby residents are still traumatised from last year's inaugural celebration.

As festival-goers rampaged around the area listening to music, eating food, playing games and availing themselves of the children's face painting, local people cowered in their homes.

Either that or they were forced to go out for the day to avoid the rowdy shenanigans.

"We couldn't even read a book," they complained.

The local community council opposed the granting of a licence for the second year.

"We have got very strong objections to music," they said.

I sympathise. I love reading. I adore books. I usually have several on the go at once. I also live within listening distance of Hampden so when any gigs are on I can hear them all through the house. Ditto events at Glasgow Green.

The Radio One Big Weekend in 2014 rattled my windows.

The thing is, it was one weekend. It's occasional nights here and there. I live to tell the tale.

Over at Kelvingrove Bandstand, locals are worried they will not live to tell the tale now a three-year licence has been granted to allow the bandstand to be used as a music venue, a move described by one person in the public gallery at the licensing committee as "a kick in the tadger."

The licensing committee was assured that steps would be taken to ease the burden on residents. One such move is a 24-hour hotline for residents to call with complaints.

Whichever poor sod is chosen to man that helpline, I hope they are handsomely, handsomely rewarded. That is not going to be an easy job.

A resident who lives close to the venue said: “When these events are on the area is uninhabitable. My life is not worth living.”

I thought we'd reached Peak West End with last year's complaints about the loud dinosaurs. If you'll remember, residents around the Botanics were raging at the roars from the life-size models of the prehistoric creatures making up Jurassic Kingdom.

But we have crested the peak and are now floating above our own bodies at the words "My life is not worth living," and "the area is uninhabitable."

Might I suggest a grip be got?

Nuisance noise makes life difficult, yes. I wrote about James Killoran earlier this month. He's missed months of sleep due to a building site operating 24 hours a day just feet from his living room window.

I visited him at home and the noise and proximity were startling. There is a building site next to my flat and the demolition on Sauchiehall Street next to my office.

Both these sites are emitting a regular high-pitched beep that starts around 7.30am at my home, beeps all day at work, and goes on at home until about 10pm. On certain days I'd like to claw out my own eardrums.

So I'm sympathetic to nuisance noise. I'm not sympathetic to a complete lack of perspective.

We live in a UNESCO City of Music. We live in a city. It's part and parcel of city living to take the rough with the smooth and the noise with the golden silence.

Kelvingrove Bandstand is used 23 days of the year. Licensing committee member Graham Campbell caused offence by mentioning the "privilege of living there.”

It seems an odd offence to take given the obvious great good fortune to be able to live in one of the most attractive and vibrant parts of the city. An area renowned for its arts and cultural offering.

Thank goodness the powers that be have stood their ground. You'd hope the most affluent parts of the city would be the most open and welcoming. After all, naughty nimbys don't get brioche.