Confessions of a Single Girl: My drunk text app failed me

I have an alter-ago. Her name is Agnes.

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She swans into my life at the most inappropriate times once she has been spurred on by too many tequilas. Agnes stole my phone at the weekend and she messed up big time. She created an absolute storm and left me to clean up the mess.

Safe to say - she did some permanent damage. She ruined a friendship by asking the dreaded "what are we doing here?" question. She created that awkward moment. I'm not sure about you, but I try to avoid that moment at all costs. When Agnes appears, she races towards it, she seeks it out, she screams that question for all to hear! I woke up with a vague memory of what Agnes had done but was too afraid to look at my phone. When I eventually did, I seriously had to resist the temptation to throw it off a wall and smash it into smithereens, and pretend the whole episode had never occurred. However, I had to man up, accept her actions and deal with the horrific consequences…by pretending the whole episode had never occurred.

I had a feeling that Agnes might do this so I downloaded a drunk text app. It cost me 89p but I figured that was a bargain if it would save me feeling like crawling under a rock and dying the next day. I've used the app before and it worked but it does have some pitfalls. If, like me, you have an alter ego who enjoys getting you into sticky situations regularly, here's how to avoid it:

The drunk text app let's you choose a contact and decide a time when you think it will be safe to call them again. What the app does is replaces the contact's number with a bunch of random letters and number so that, when you're alter ego tries to phone them, the call will fail. Sounds great, doesn't it?

The downfall (which turned out to be my downfall) is that, if the person texts you first and, in a drunken haze, you somehow decipher who the text is from, you can reply. If you'd like to avoid this situation, I would suggest an alternative such as giving your phone to a friend, blocking all texts or calls from the number completely until you are in a state fit to contact them again.

I hope from the very bottom of my heart that your alter-ego does not get hold of your phone but if you think they may, take precautions. Good luck, and don't drink and text.

Food and drink

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