My first thought when I see a couple kissing in public is to go and empty the contents of my stomach.
It used to be that we only had to endure PDA when we were in nightclubs, in restaurants, on public transport or just walking down the street.
Never before have we been so repulsed while in the comfort of our own homes. But with the rise of the social network it's pretty unavoidable. Unfortunately now, there's a whole new kind of PDA and it's plastered all over social channels.
There's kissing selfies, love notes being tweeted and couples checking in at restaurants (or worse: their bedrooms) for 'date night'.
If you're with your significant other and you'd like to take a photo to commemorate the moment and treasure it forever; that's lovely and congratulations, but why do you have to inflict the photo on everyone else?
I'm scrolling through my Instagram feed, minding my own business and then there's a revolting let's-pretend-we're-sleeping lovey dovey photo. So, if the cute couple are asleep, who's taking the photo?
And why would they feel the need to share it with the rest of the world? Surely, if you're sharing an intimate moment, the last thing you want is for your 500 'closet friends' (i.e. followers) to see it? Guess what - we don't want to see it.
I understand that you're in a blissful, happy relationship and you might want to constantly tell your bf or gf your innermost thoughts and feelings, but please do us all a favour and do it privately.
The rest of us don't need to see you express the extent of your devotion to each other through the medium of emojis.
The next time you want to tell all of Facebook just how much you can't be without each other, please use your mobile phone and send a text, make a phone call, send an e-mail because the rest of us are just thinking about how much we can't stand the pair of you.
You might be having a lovely evening with your beau but I don't need to know that. I don't need to know that you're having a movie night at 'My Cosy Bedroom.'
Actually, there are few things I'd rather think about less than the two of you having a cosy evening in. I guess I can maybe accept it if you're somewhere strange or exotic, like at the airport waiting to leave the country forever or if the two happen to be trapped down a well - that's fair enough. There's two people in your relationship - keep it that way.