Most people immediately associate the five stages of grief with feelings humans experience after the loss of a loved one but I reckon they can also be applied to how someone feels after a break-up

Although no one has actually died you are mourning the death of a relationship. Later, when you're over it, your actions may seem nonsensical but when you're that upset you have a licence to be crazy.

Denial

At this stage you're probably pretty chilled. You're feeling comfortable because you don't think the break up is going to last. You think he's going to come crawling back to you and apologise and tell you you're the coolest person in the world. Although you might want to savour being naive and blissfully unaware, it's not very healthy. It's best to be honest and realistic with yourself so that you can speed up the post break-up trauma. If you see a complacent friend who's been floundering in this phase for too long, it's your responsibility as a good pal to tell her it's time to wake up and smell the rejection.

Anger

At this stage there's a high risk of you starting a brawl in a nightclub, keying his car or starting a nasty rumour. Although these may seem like justified reactions at the time, that's only the crazy talking. If karma isn't working quickly enough for you and you'd like to take matters into your own hands, I'd recommend doing something which would only cause him a slight inconvenience but you'll still feel satisfied that you've attained a small victory. I'd suggest smearing smelly food on the windscreen of his car, hacking his Facebook and changing his password or scratching his DVDs before giving them back to him. However, I don't condone seeking revenge. Honestly.

Bargaining

This is possibly the craziest phase. At this point it is crucial to abstain from making any contact with your ex, even though you might think it's a great idea. You may think that a simple text message or phone call will fix everything and you'll live happily ever after. There's a chance you could also spiral out of control at this stage and if your initial text message or phone call is ignored, you could quickly reach the Fatal Attraction level of stalker. Grand romantic gestures also don't work so don't think that standing outside his window with a boom box over your head is the solution to all your problems.

Depression

During the depressed part of your journey it's really important to keep your friends close so you don't seclude yourself too much. You'll want to do nothing but eat ice cream and mope around in your pyjamas but eventually you'll need to pull yourself out of your rut and move on. It's best to stay away from social media during this time as, otherwise, you might spend hours creeping through three year old photos of your ex or turning into a cyber detective and trying to find out if he's seeing someone else. Warning: wallowing in this phase for too long could result in forgetting how to apply liquid eyeliner.

Acceptance

Acceptance is the final and most gratifying stage. This is when you delete his number for the 94,753th time knowing that you're never going to drunk dial again. At this stage you'll feel like a new woman, like you could take over the world and you'll wonder why you were ever so upset in the first place. During this time it's best to enjoy yourself, go out with friends, get a new haircut, buy some new clothes. Spend time treating yourself and try not to get bogged down with the trivialities for a while!