I'm facing the music to dance
How many of us watch "Strictly" with an ever so slightly wicked mindset as we run the slide rule over celebrity appearances and deportment before we stringently critique their performances.
I know I do. And my qualifications are exactly what? Dancing round my handbag at a disco is about my limit, yet I pontificate from the comfort of my couch.
Well, it's said what goes round comes round. In less than five weeks' time I'll be under a similar scrutiny from a 500-strong audience at the Crowne Plaza hotel in Glasgow. My nerves grow daily.
How dare my old friend Lorraine hold me to ransom in the name of Maggie's cancer charity? She caught me by surprise one afternoon many months ago and eased me into agreeing participation in the Maggie's Dance event on Friday November 15.
Part of me thought fantastic - the chance to dress up in a sequined costume and be taught how to dance into the bargain.
However, after nearly three months of trying to learn the Argentine Tango I am no longer convinced it was a good idea at all!
The poor guy Michael who was lumbered with me as his partner has bruises which testify to my clumsiness.
In all seriousness, how could I refuse? Maggie's does a tremendous job in supporting and advising cancer victims and their families. Lorraine is an organiser of the event. She is also a survivor. My mother and mother-in-law are survivors.
Truth is I don’t mind one jot training hard and opening myself up to laughs and even ridicule for the cause of raising funds for Maggie's.
And that applies even more to my husband, Tommy, who has two proverbial left feet. Paying to see him attempt a jive will be worth the ticket price alone.
Last Tango For Brucie
Since I’ve become involved in the Strictly event, I tend to view the TV show with different eyes. I can appreciate just how gruelling it is.
When I nail a routine properly the smile on my face can resemble that of current contestant Julien McDonald, only with the wrinkles!
You might think with all this talk of Strictly that I’m a devotee...my mum and sister are, but I can take it or leave it.
My big dislike of the show is Bruce Forsyth. Surely it’s time he was replaced. There have been numerous names floated to host the highly popular show.
Professional dancer Anton du Beke and the ultimate showman John Barrowman are my favourites. Who do you think fits the bill? Use the comments box below to post your suggestions.
Keep yer eggs tae yersel'
It’s the October school break and I’m gearing up for one of my most favourite times of the year. I love all the Halloween nonsense.
The scary decorations, scooping out the pumpkins and the kids at the door trick or treating.
What I can’t stand though is the selfish clowns who rampage our streets throwing eggs at any house with Halloween decorations or at wee weans out guising.
So be advised shopkeepers. A crowd of teenagers buying three dozen eggs at 6pm on October 31? IT’S NO FUR AN OMLETTE...