The ups and downs of Pippa Middleton's bottom

WHAT'S the best thing about our 24-hour news culture?

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Is it the breaking news or watching every moment in complex situations unfold? Or is it the weird and wonderful stories that are just a click away?

I came across one such weird - but less wonderful - story yesterday.

Pippa Middleton's bottom: three years. This Huffington Post article charted the rise of Kate's sister's backside from the day of the Royal Wedding.

This cutting-edge reporting was not just an example of the constant need to provide stories with new angles (in every sense), but it also showed the appetite the media thinks we have for the Royal Family.

So apart from Pippa, whose main attraction is still her bum, no-one could fail to notice that Wills and Kate were down under on a tour recently.

As you have probably gathered, I am not a fan of the Royals. It is not that I hate them. I'm sure most of them are decent enough people and I know George is cute as babies often are. But I don't see the point in them.

People go on about tourism, and, yes, I know they attract visitors. But if they are to be tourist attractions then they should be put on a payroll and cough up National Insurance, plus proper tax like the rest of us.

Having Royals - people born into incomprehensible privilege - just does not seem like common sense.

So anyway, Wills and Kate in Oz saw them all over television, newspapers, magazines and the internet.

A holiday had not gathered this much attention since the England footballer's WAGs (wives and girlfriends) went to Baden-Baden in 2006 and racked up an eye-watering shopping bill and danced on tables while downing shots.

There was none of that from the Royal duo, as I can gather - but they were still high up the news agenda.

Along with the South Korean ferry that sunk and the latest indy poll results, there was Prince George petting a giant cuddly toy wombat.

In one particularly embarrassing report there was William and Kate being DJs. And the report was not just the once. Every 20 minutes or so the same package was played again, showing them on the turntables.

Then, in one newspaper in a freaky montage, there were the comparisons of Kate and William to Diana and Charles.

There was the dissection of Kate's wardrobe: has she copied the Queen by wearing yellow? What does it mean she is wearing a knee length dress?

What does it mean George has on dungarees? There was the speculation over Kate being pregnant.

The over-the-top coverage was nauseating. Regardless of what I think of the Royals, they are there and it is right the media should report on them. But, really, did we need to see that much?

And do we really need to know what Pippa's bottom has been up to?

The Royals

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