LAST week, I read an excerpt from a book written by Michelle Mone, the Ultimo Bra tycoon, which focused on the breakup of her marriage due to her husband's apparent infidelity.

 

Sadly, there's nothing unusual in that nowadays except that she goes on to explain how she was so saddened and enraged about the alleged affair, that she decided to get revenge.

And how did she do this?

She admitted causing £8000 of damage to her husband's prized £100,000 Porsche.

She also poured freezing water under the duvet on his bed (he was still living with her), cut up his clothes, and, on top of that, put laxatives in his drink ahead of a glitzy night out with his mistress.

Now, believe me, no one has had more cause for revenge than me in the past, but I'm a Karma kind of person.

I go with the belief that 'What goes around comes around."

However, apparently not everyone is of the same conviction.

Curious, I Googled the word revenge and all sorts of revenge websites popped up.

But one in particular called 'Masters of Revenge' caught my eye.

"Need to get revenge on someone?" it offered.

"Then why not let us send an anonymous text message, a few fake emails, a twisted gift, a disturbing greetings card or some fake photographs."

The list was endless.

"Or how about we make some nuisance calls or send a nasty video message?"

Another website suggested: "We want to help you get even. Take a look at our list of suggestions."

The list went on to recommend: "Before he gets dressed in the morning, shake some chili powder in his underpants. That'll keep his bits out of action for a while."

Later that evening after finishing work, I was in Tesco looking for something tasty for my dinner.

Standing at the fresh meat counter, I was next in line to get served when the girl in front of me asked the assistant.

"Could I get a fairly large fillet steak please?"

"Just one?"

"Yes please. It's for me. I've got him (obviously referring to her other half) a rump steak from the shelf over there," she hissed.

"You know, the shelf where the food is nearing its sell by date."

I started laughing to myself, thinking the woman was clearly very hacked off with him for some reason.

"Do you think it will still be OK to eat?" she asked the assistant, although from the look on her face, she clearly wasn't that bothered one way or the other.

After a quick inspection the assistant said: "Yep, so long as he eats it tonight it should be OK."

I smiled at the shoppers' slyness in treating herself to the best quality, freshest steak whilst buying her other half the nearly-off cheaper version.

I couldn't help but butt in to the conversation.

"If in any doubt," I advised, "just smother it in pepper sauce. He'll never taste the difference."

"Great idea," the woman replied and the girls giggled like naughty children.

"I take it you've done that before?" the customer asked me.

"Not quite. But I do remember the night I accidentally dropped my cheating husband's steak on the kitchen floor."

The girls were intrigued.

"I picked it up. Gave it a shake and slapped it back on the grill pan," I confessed.

"And the kids, who'd seen the whole thing, knew better than to let the cat out of the bag.

The assistant winked: "What the eye doesn't see."

"Exactly. I continued.

"But it was worse than that.

"He always used to pinch bits and pieces from everyone else's plate when we weren't looking.

"But this night I had chewed and chewed on a piece of gristly steak and eventually gave up and discreetly pulled it out of the corner of my mouth and put it on the side of my plate."

The girls were eager to hear what happened next.

"Before I could stop him, and I didn't try too hard, he harpooned the well-chewed gristle and dropped it into his mouth."

The girls grimaced at the very thought.

"Did he spit it out?"

"Nope. Swallowed it whole. And to this day he is none the wiser," I proudly confessed.

And, on reflection, perhaps my revenge wasn't quite in the same league as Michelle Mone's but I do remember smiling like a Cheshire cat for the rest of the night.