1 I take him to McDonalds just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.
2 My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
3 I have a million-dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
4 You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, not the police.
5 Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
6 You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and you don't know anyone who can see through it.
7 My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it is missing and what's there stinks.
8 It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.
9 At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass.
10 I once dated a guy so dumb he couldn't count to 21 unless he was naked.
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article