THE only real knowledge I've gained from The Great British Bake Off is where Mary Berry bought her bomber jacket - and I didn't even have to tune in to find that out.

 

It has taken me until the current fourth series to sit down and watch an episode of the TV show which has turned the art of making a Victoria sponge into a cultural phenomenon.

It is now as cool to own bundles of baking paraphernalia as it is to carry a Mulberry handbag, neither of which I have.

The team - including Paul Hollywood, whose marital break-up tales I know more about, thanks to the tabloids, than his ability in the kitchen - has helped encourage cult cake clubs to spring up, including one in the Herald & Times office.

When the email came round asking budding bakers to sign up I told them to count me in. I was quickly dismissed for failing to make anything.

A cake club sounded fun and tasty and inclusive. In reality it was just adding another unticked box to my day.

Seems I was in the wrong. Research suggests baking - the kneading, the stirring, the mixing - actually lifts stress and can help combat depression.

There's probably no better hobby for a journalist, then.

Psychologists say repetitive behaviour and rituals reduce stress while the creative side of putting your own mixture into the oven and pulling out real-life edible food is positive for the brain.

I'm sure the shoving sugar down your throat at the end and licking the bowl are pretty awesome parts of the process, too.

Once, a few of us exiled bakers decided to set up a one-off anti-cake club.

The aim was to make kids' treats, like the easy peasy Dennis the Menace cake mix you buy from the supermarket, and rice crispie chocolate crunches.

ONLY one of us (we were a trio) managed to venture anywhere near the mixing bowl when she arrived at work with a vat of marshmallow top hats.

I brought in a pack of Jammie Dodgers.

Last week's episode of the GB Bake Off saw one contestant forget to turn the oven on and another cry because her custard (or similar substance) curdled.

This only brought back memories - read 'fear' - of home economics at school.

One of my closest friends remembered I "burnt the bottom off a pan" trying to make a fish sauce.

The fear of enjoying the experience was the worst though - although when you come home with gloopy scallop potatoes or a sunken sponge cake no-one encourages you to keep at it.

Anway, back to Bake Off news: Mary Berry's bomber was from Zara, and her new floral blazer is from Oasis.

You can thank me with cakes.