My Eurovision dream is a duet with The Krankies

WHEN you hear the word 'Eurovision' what immediately pops into your head?

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Did Bucks Fizz provide your most memorable Eurovision moment?
Did Bucks Fizz provide your most memorable Eurovision moment?

Is it Abba winning in 1974 with Waterloo?

Is it Dana International proving all her critics wrong by taking Israel to the top spot in 1998 with the catchy Diva number?

Is it the jaw-dropping moment when Riverdance debuted during the interval in Ireland in 1994 (an event which still leads me to believe I can actually Irish Dance when drunk)?

Or is it watching those skirts flying when Bucks Fizz represented the UK with Making Your Mind Up back in 1981 that springs to mind?

Whatever your memories, there is no denying that the Eurovision Song Contest is nothing short of iconic, and it's back for the 59th time in all of its wonderful glitz and glamour glory this weekend.

It's hard to believe that this competition began in 1956, although it's also harder to forgive that it's actually credited with relaunching Sir Cliff Richard's career. Of course I jest - I love that little living doll.

Do I wish he'd stop releasing calendars showing his 73-year-old topless self? Absolutely, but that is most definitely a whole different column.

We had the first semi-final on Tuesday night and so far my money is on the Swedish entry Undo, sung beautifully by Sanna Nielsen, although based on their name alone and not to mention the lyric...

"Even if you're taller

Or someone who is smaller

Or perhaps you're thinner

Or one who loves his dinner"

Iceland's Pollapönk is another favourite.

With 15 more hopeful entrants looking to battle it out in tonight's second semi-final I'm sure we will be guaranteed another completely over the top and flamboyant final on Saturday evening.

Graham Norton is back commentating for us here in the UK and does a great job considering he's had to follow in the footsteps of Sir Terry Wogan, the man who for many years delighted us all with his twinkling sarcasm.

Who could forget his "Doctor Death and The Tooth Fairy" remarks while describing the Danish hosts back in 2001.

It's one of the biggest competitions in the world with audience figures having been quoted in recent years as anything between 100 million and 600 million and is renowned for its kitsch, camp fun.

Even Ch4's Father Ted did a hilarious take on it with their A Song for Europe episode which spawned the classic track My Lovely Horse, and for a brief moment may have even brought blue sparkly jackets back into fashion.Well, maybe not.

Yes Eurovision is certainly adored and I've even been lucky enough to get my hands on one of the most sought after party invites in Glasgow to watch events as they unfold on Saturday evening at Chez Derek et Stephen so I'll have my flags at the ready.

Maybe in a few years time we will see a Scottish entry in the competition. I reckon a duet with myself and The Krankies in head to toe tartan is the stuff that Eurovision dreams are made of, and may send the Yes vote through the roof.

I'D to say a huge thank you to Claudio Ferreira and his team at Glasgow's Chaophraya Restaurant for one of the loveliest evenings I've ever had.

The service and food was second to none and you all made our day extremely special.

If you are a fan of Thai cuisine then I could not recommend this venue highly enough.

Best of luck to you at this year's Scottish Entertainment Awards later this month.

SO yes it's actually happened.Today I kissed and cried goodbye to 33 and said "Oh God, it's you" to 34.

Yes, the ageing gods have ignored all my pleas and my quest to find Isabella Rossellini and her Death Becomes Her elixir of life potion have sadly failed.

Well maybe it won't be all that bad after all.

A friend of mine told me she found her first chin hair on her 34th birthday, and after scanning every inch of my chin with a giant magnifying glass like a crazed lunatic for an hour this morning I can confirm that there wasn't a hair in sight... although sadly the glass did show up about 20 new lines I was blissfully unaware of.

Only one thing for it then - and it comes in a large glass.

Cheers everyone!

Arts and Entertainment

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