EARLY on a Saturday morning, I was eagerly waiting for my new DVD to be delivered.

I spotted the postman at the corner of the street, put my shoes on and ran out to greet him.

We exchanged pleasantries before I grabbed my long-awaited package and headed back up to my cosy bedroom, slipped off my shoes and joggy bottoms and snuggled back into bed.

After propping myself up with pillows, I pressed the button on the remote control which, miraculously for me, made the DVD spring into life.

I fast forwarded it and settled down to my delicious pre-prepared breakfast of a roll with bacon, fried egg and black pudding and a giant mug of tea.

No sooner had I sunk my teeth into the first mouth-watering bite when the door bell chimed.

And chimed. And chimed. Over and over again.

Somehow I knew it would be my daughter.

Who else would be at my door at this time on a Saturday mor-ning? Not want-ing to move out of my bed, I paused the DVD and lifted my mobile.

"Hi there, I'm still in bed," I said.

"Use your own key and come in the back door."

I pressed the remote again and took another bite of my giant breakfast roll.

Mmmm. Delicious.

Jenna appeared at my bedroom door.

"Hi mum, what you watching," she asked.

"Out of the way," I gestured as she was blocking my view.

She shuffled to one side, turned and lifted the cover of my new DVD before letting out a loud roar.

"Seriously mum? Seriously?"

"What?" I answered mystified at her response.

"You are sitting up in bed with a roll and bacon, fried egg and black pudding in one hand and a mug of tea in the other," she squawked in a high-pitched voice.

"And you're watching a DVD about weight training."

"What's wrong with that?" I replied.

"I've seen it all now," she continued while shaking her head.

"I thought it was bad enough when you used the Swiss ball as a foot stool and the exercise bike as a coat hanger. But ..."

She was on a roll now.

"But you could at least get out of bed and actually do something, not just watch a DVD."

"Jenna," I replied, wiping the grease from my chin.

"You've got to watch the DVD at least twice before you have a go at these things or else you could do yourself a serious injury."

"Serious injury?" she mocked.

"The only chance you've got of serious injury is tennis elbow ... caused by lifting that dirty great roll up and down to your mouth."

As I heard her slam the back door behind her I thought to myself: "Not much encourage-ment there then."

I WAS in my local nail bar recently when a mother and daughter came in to have their nails done for a wedding the following day.

Doing my best to mind my own business, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation between the pair.

"The hairdresser will be at my house at 7.30am tomorrow morning," said the mum.

"So what time are you planning on coming?"

Daughter: "I'll be there about eight but I'll need to drop my dogs off at yours tonight."

Mum: "Tonight? Why tonight?"

Daughter: "Because I'll be too stressed in the morning to get myself up and out never mind three dogs."

Mum: "Well, I'll be at the bingo till 10pm and don't forget I've got my two dogs so it's going to be a bit hectic with five dogs in the house ... plus your nan."

What a blinkin' palaver, I thought to myself. Imagine preparing for a wedding with five dogs in the house and a pensioner.

Daughter: "And is Nan going to be able to feed the dogs while you are at the bingo?"

Mum: "Naw. Of course not ... she can hardly feed herself."

Daughter: "I suppose that's true. So how will she manage when we're all at the wedding?"

Mum: "She'll be absolutely fine. It's sorted. I've organised for her to go into a home for a couple of days."

Daughter: "A home?

"She's never been in a home. How does she feel about that?"

Mum: "Oh she's been great.

"I just told her she's going on holiday to a lovely hotel for a couple of nights.

"So she's really looking forward to it."

OMG, I thought. Poor old Nan.