Was it Darth Vader ... or Johann Who?

THE MSPs have all gone home for Christmas and are eagerly waiting to find out if Santa decided they have been good boys and girls this year.

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Holyrood Week decided to find out from Father Christmas and the top politicians what was on their Christmas list and what they would be doing over the holidays.

They all answered 'world peace' and 'working in the constituency', but we appealed to the Information Commissioner to get the real answers.

The First Minister has invited everyone round to Bute House for a giant game of 'Salmond Says'.

He will stand at the fireplace and conduct "Salmond Says put your hand on your heart … and repeat 'the best people to make decisions about Scotland are the people who live and work here'."

Then he has got the Chancellor and EU leaders coming round. "Salmond Says let Scotland in the EU." "Salmond says let Scotland use the pound after independence".

The game's full title is 'Just Do As Salmond Says'.

Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont has asked Santa for a part as Darth Vader in the next Star Wars movie. Following the poll that showed 41% of people did not know who she was, she wants to know someone feels her presence.

Instead, we hear Santa is delivering to her a script for a new time travelling franchise north of the Border. It's called Johann Who?

This is just in case it does come to pass that we won't actually be able to watch Doctor Who should Scotland become independent.

Scottish Secretary Alistair Carmichael has written to Lapland and says he has been a good boy, which is why Premier David Cameron and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg promoted him.

However, he added a PS to Santa saying he didn't think Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon should get any presents, because she pulled his pigtails on the telly and wouldn't stop, even though he was pleading.

Ms Sturgeon will again spend the holidays at home with a box set of Danish political drama Borgen on telly on repeat.

It's not the show, featuring Birgitte Nyborg, the fictional female PM of a small northern European country, that is on repeat but Ms Sturgeon repeating "that should be me, that should be me".

Talking of Borgen, David Cameron has written to the real Danish PM, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, asking for a copy of the 'selfie' she took with him and Barack Obama at Nelson Mandela's memorial service in Johannesburg.

She wrote back saying, sorry, she cut him out of it. Which is exactly what Michelle Obama did to her in the copy delivered to the White House.

Our MSPs now have two weeks to recharge their batteries before the all-out referendum warfare that is 2014 beckons.

To all mentioned in this column (because I know Barack is a reader) and to all our readers: Have a very happy Christmas.

Local government

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            Michelle McManus            

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