We all know the Glesga banter is best in Britain

RECENTLY in the Evening Times there was an article about Glaswegian patter.

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Chewin' the Fat's Banter Boys James and Gary (Greg Hemphill and Ford Kiernan) were happy to pay for the patter
Chewin' the Fat's Banter Boys James and Gary (Greg Hemphill and Ford Kiernan) were happy to pay for the patter

Digital journalist Stacey Mullen, with help from you, our wonderful readers, compiled a list of 99 slang words that, if understood, proved you were indeed from Glasgow.

To see the list click here

Since the article was published there have been similar posts on various social media sites reminiscing about Scottish banter, and it got me thinking.

When I moved to London in 2003 I realised for the first time that, although I was still in the UK, it was clear that I was speaking a completely different language.

One cold November morning I had woken up in the beautiful Pop Idol mansion in Regents Park that I'd been sharing with the other contestants.

I had gone downstairs to make breakfast only to find that the house was a hive of activity because hosts Ant and Dec were coming to film some clips for that Saturday night's live show.

I was in the kitchen when the lovely Mark Rhodes asked if I'd put on a bit of toast for him to which I replied "no problem, do you want an outsider with good butter?"

After no response I looked up to see poor Mark standing there looking as if I had just spoken to him in Klingon or Elvish.

I had just assumed everyone referred to the end of a loaf as the outsider or that anything apart from margarine was referred to as good butter?

I also discovered that morning that, 'Let the well run' (leave the tap on), 'bahookie' (backside) and 'what time is it the now?' (Do you have the correct time) didn't quite register with my friends south of the border either, although the phrase "He was as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike" proved very popular.

My friend recently told me the loveliest story of when she was a child the adults around her would talk constantly of how Mrs such and such up the road lived in a 'boat hoose' and she remembered thinking how wonderful it would be to have a boat as a house.

Now an extremely successful adult she has a picture of a boathouse on the walls of her very own bought house as a nod back to that wonderful innocent time in her childhood.

I think its great that we keep colloquialism alive and pass on these wonderful words and phrases to future generations and you never know if Scotland does infact become an independent country maybe demonstrating a knowledge of these words will be included in a Scottish Citizenship exam in the future.

The introduction could read 'Haw big yin if yer wantin tae come crash here full time then ye better get tae grips way the lingo pronto know whit im sayin?

And PS. If ye huvny tried an outsider wae good butter ye huvny lived."

n If you're looking for a fab night out this weekend then look no further than Cottiers Theatre in Glasgow's West End.

I Will Survive is the ultimate girls' night out with music from the 70's, 80's and 90's with plenty of laughs too.

Tickets are going fast but for more information log on to www.itison.com

n I am delighted to once again be attending the Evening Times Scotswoman of the Year awards at the beautiful Glasgow City Chambers tonight.

I am so proud to be associated with a paper that each year hosts this events to honour the wonderful brave, strong and awe inspiring women of this county. Best of luck to all five extremely worthy finalists and I'll be attending with my very own SWOTY my mum Helen.

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