LET'S play tennis. But why not a game of squash first. That is what visitors to the Flanders Expo Centre in Ghent are exposed to when they attempt to travel via the No 1 red tram from the historic centre within two hours of the day's start time. Presumably red stands for danger of overcrowding. 

As you might expect, the public transport in this part of the world generally runs like clockwork, but a few more trams being put on wouldn't hurt. Seeing a seething mass of people cramming into the doorway, many of them displaying saltires and union flags, your diarist risked life and limb by squeezing on. Other transport options were available; apparently the town runs a very efficient Shanks' pony service.

Anyway, it all reminded me of a true story of similar journey during my days following the Scotland football team, to an incredibly lucky Craig Brown-era 1-0 win against Sweden, courtesy of a John McGinlay goal and 89 minutes of Jim Leighton inspired heroics. My journey to Ibrox that day, along with a group of pals, was equally fortuitous. Spending too long as usual finishing up in a bar near the central station, we hot-footed it to St Enoch centre tube only to find an army of fellow travellers inside. We looked at each other, then led by my pal Kieran, we entered the tube train in a manner similar to No 8 forwards at the back of a rugby scrum. We made it, dear reader, our noses placed fast against the glass. I will never forget how the Tartan Army regailed us on the short hop to Ibrox. "How the f*** did you get on?" they chanted in unison. 

TAKING the proverbial. There has also been minor outrage amongst the travelling support here about the fact that there is charge for even the most basic of bodily functions. While media can show a pass and avoid such indignities, for the rest of the paying punters to the  Flanders Expo Centre in Ghent it costs you 50 cents to spend a penny.