ANYONE now aged 35 and under wasn’t old enough to even buy a beer the last time Scotland were at a major championship.

And anyone who after this latest monstrosity of a performance and result, as embarrassing as it comes and the list of humiliations continues to grow, believes we don’t need a change of manager probably had 35 large ones while watching this pathetic defeat to a Slovakia side who can’t even see average from where they stand.

The Scottish government are quite rightly attempting to do something about the country’s awkward relationship with alcohol.

Read more: Slovakia 3 Scotland 0: World Cup chances all but over as Scotland slump to heavy lossGlasgow Times: Scotland manager Gordon Strachan is optimistic about the new campaign Photograph: PA

Perhaps they should ask the SFA to chip in regarding the campaign because watching the current national football team could make a member of the Temperance Society reach for a hawf.

Spoiler alert. We are not getting to the World Cup in Russia.

After three games that can be said with some certainty. Scotland are in a pretty nothing group topped by an England side who are a little short of being dreadful. We will probably finish above Malta.

Gordon Strachan should have gone long before now. Finishing fourth behind a Republic of Ireland side that could get football stopped and Poland, a bang average team with just one decent player, was a sackable offence in itself.

Read more: Slovakia 3 Scotland 0: World Cup chances all but over as Scotland slump to heavy loss

But then in Gibraltar, a year ago, Strachan, and his bosses, was persuaded to carry on because the punters who were at the game gave him and the players such a good reception for their utter failure.

Is it just me or should the SFA probably not make their most important decision on the say-so of some ridiculously drunk people struggling to count how many fingers they have? Anyone who sings Do a Deer honestly can’t be taken seriously.

Not everything is Strachan’s fault. To suggest so is ridiculous.

But his team-sheets can to the cynic resemble a resignation letter given the players he puts in and leaves out.

But while he would hate someone like me taking him to task on his football knowledge, it would be interesting to know why Leigh Griffiths isn’t good enough to start, why Shaun Maloney has not been given the chance to change things and why keep with a 4-2-3-1 formation which clearly doesn’t work?

And if Chris Martin was so “outstanding” on Saturday against Lithuania then why was he dropped for this match? It’s because he was actually dreadful and the manager made a major error. Once again.

Jordan Rhodes and Ross McCormack are not Jim Baxter and Kenny Dalglish but they should at least be in the squad.

Strachan is a great one for cutting off his nose to spite his face. That’s not good enough.

Maloney is the one player we have who will always at least have a shot at goal. Yet he played no part in either game. What if we won a free-kick? Ach, as if that was going to happen.

When the game was done, at least Griffiths remained sharp and the idea we have such a striker to call upon, far from world class but pretty good, and yet don’t start him is ridiculous.

Let’s be honest. The manager has always given off the impression that he wasn’t massively keen on the job. Jock Stein continually said it was his greatest honour. If it was good enough for him...

Read more: Slovakia 3 Scotland 0: World Cup chances all but over as Scotland slump to heavy loss

Strachan still had some backers whose entire argument was based on who could the SFA get in to do better. Well, as countries much smaller than Scotland seem to get the best out of their limited resources, get their selection and tactics rights, and know how to complete such a mighty task as defender a corner, my guess is that there is someone out there who would at least make things less crap.

The public don’t really care about the national team anymore unless they are paid up members of the Tartan Army who think drinking and singing about being barmy – rhymes with army – is what actually counts.

The SFA should perhaps at least pick up the phone to a man who, while perhaps a bit unsure whether the big job would be for him, at least would have something to say worth listening to.

He’s called Sir Alex Ferguson. It's just a thought.