I TURNED 30 yesterday.

To mark the occasion I decided to do what every self-respecting person who worries about losing their youthful vigour and plucky bounce would do. I went to the toilet twice in the middle of the night.

Even a present from the bairn couldn’t bring a smile to an ageing fizzog as the realisation I was a landmark day closer to meeting my maker – and doing so without seeing Motherwell win a trophy – began to set in.

While I unwrapped another pack of socks to add to the mountainous pile that will be collated over the coming days, no doubt resembling the cairn at the summit of Ben Nevis by the time this national weekend of mourning is brought to a sobering conclusion, it felt as good a time as any to look back and take stock.

I had 43 pairs.

Aye, there’s nothing like a step towards death to make you contemplate your purpose on this earth, a notion that has probably crossed the minds of a few Rangers defenders of late as they attempt to plug a leaky Ibrox defence with as much success as the deckhand on board the titanic did with his trusted galvy bucket.

With a combined age of less than a week under 70, the pairing of Clint Hill and Philippe Senderos struggled to handle the force of footballing nature that is a Ross County counter attack. In the end the OAPs in Light Blue did well just to let one Alex Schalk shot pass them by in the latest result to hammer a nail into Mark Warburton’s Rangers coffin.

He may have had Govan’s answer to Jack and Victor playing at the back but you would imagine they would be still game for a better showing than the one they served up.

I’ll get ma coat…

To be honest, to blame the central defensive pairing would be harsh, just as it is overly critical - well, just about - to lambast Warburton for falling way short of Celtic and perhaps marginally short of expectations of those within even the smallest grain of reality.

In many respects the Englishman’s career at Ibrox was somewhat of an anti-climax since last April when Rangers inflicted a dramatic Scottish Cup semi-final defeat on Celtic at Hampden. That was the moment Gers fans felt the unthinkable was within their grasp upon a return to the top flight.

But, to be frank (McParland), Rangers and Warburton were not victims of their own success. They are the victim of Celtic’s.

Brendan Rodgers is well on his way to becoming the most significant and influential manager since Martin O’Neill. Possibly even Jock Stein.

Why or how? Just look at the facts.

This time last year Celtic were a team suffering from a crisis of confidence and conviction. On February 3 12 months ago, Aberdeen had just beaten the Parkhead club, under the guidance of Ronny Deila, to cut the gap at the top of the table to just three points.

Fast forward to the present day, and Celtic blootered St Johnstone 5-2 to open up a 27-point gap. Some may point to the fact new Bhoys Moussa Dembele and Scott Sinclair scored, but 10 of the starting XI played under the bold Ronny. So did two substitutes.

The miracle of this Celtic team, certainly on a domestic front, is not founded in superstars of Dembele or Sinclair. Champions League nights may have been lost without their contributions, but the Parkhead club would still be a country mile ahead in the league.

Why? Because Rodgers has a vision, personality, enthusiasm, experience and respect to get the most out of a Celtic team that looked rudderless this time last year. Having said that, that team still has 12 points more than Rangers do this season having played the same amount of games, although I’m sure the hypothetical Warburton calculator would sort that out.

Before last night's drama, Rangers fans may have feared a Morton defeat in the Cup this weekend. Others would have rejoiced in the hope it would have shunted their under-fire manager out the door sooner. In the end, it didn't matter.

It probably won’t make a difference anyway. Rangers are still as far away from winning the league as I am to getting into Hamilton Palace for free with a Young Scot card. Given the current investment and chaos, swapping Warburton for a younger model – a philosophy I’m nervously worried Mrs M may now do – is likely to be a futile exercise.

The truth is the only managerial change that will bring Rangers closer to Celtic is the one that will see Rodgers eventually leave Celtic. And, much like that night doing the Macarena doon the Palace, seems some way off in the hazy distance.

Right, off to the loo...