SOMETHING which often if not every time gets overlooked when Glasgow’s gruesome twosome lock horns is that one man has the thankless task of taking charge of the mayhem which proceeds.

His job, or punishment, if you prefer, is to ensure that the football match, which believe it or not is the event occurring today, begins, ends for a break, starts again and is then all over. He even gets to pick the ball up at the finale.

It’s his word which is final. Nobody else’s. And in between those whistle blows, there will be a decision a minute to make for more than an hour and a half of sheer bedlam.

And out of all those taking part in this living, breathing drama, he will be the worst paid and most reviled.

We are, of course, talking of the poor soul who has been chosen to referee a game between Rangers and Celtic. This time it is Craig Thomson, the country’s most experienced official, and no matter what happens, you can rest assured that it will all be his fault.

Referees are a strange lot, let’s be honest here. Their profession is something like a cross between a traffic warden and a sheriff officer. They are just here for the nasty things in life. But the great thing about a ref is that thousands of us get to shout all sorts at them without fear of any collars being felt.

So why do it? Honestly. Why be a referee in the first place? Because not only does everyone dislike you, but one day, if you impress, they will give you an Old Firm match. As prizes for doing a job well, it’s right down there.

Poor Thomson. This afternoon’s match may well pass off without any real flashpoint (all the best with that); he may get all of the big and most of the wee calls right; the players, to a man, could shake his hand at the end and yet in a pub somewhere, someone will growl: “Whit about that bleeding ref?”

And that comment will be met with firm nods of approval. That 5-0 defeat, obviously, was down to the one person running about the pitch not allowed to kick a ball.

“In our field, it’s the biggest and best game you can get,” so says Stuart Dougal, now retired from a long and distinguished career as a FIFA referee. There’s a lot to like about big Stuart, but he’s not doing a great job in persuasion.

Dougal was in the middle for 12 Old Firm games – some more memorable than others – and while his nerves may still be affected, he has no regrets and now looks back on such games as the highlights of his career.

“I was the fourth official when Uruguay played Brazil – Hugh Dallas was

the ref – and that is like Scotland-England on drugs,” Dougal recalled.“What an atmosphere, what an occasion: it will live with me forever.

“But was it as intense as Rangers and Celtic? Not close, and no other game is.”

It was the first derby of the 1998/99 season in which Dougal made his debut as the man everyone got to blame.

“I was seriously nervous for days running up to it,” he recalls. “But it was 0-0, a decent game but not one with too many talking points, so for my debut I couldn’t have asked for much more.

“In those days, and this doesn’t happen now, you didn’t know who the supervisor in the stand was but it so happened we had a referees’ meeting that morning – and not in the Lodge before you ask – and Kenny Hope, who was vastly experienced, told me that it would be himself at Ibrox keeping an eye on me.

“His advice was brilliant. Kenny said: ‘Listen, son, keep the card in your pocket early on. Don’t go looking for bookings, don’t go searching for trouble, because it will come to you soon enough.’

“This was the best thing he could have said. Anyway, within the first five minutes I’ve gone and booked Tommy Boyd and Giovanni van Bronckhorst.”

Dougal experienced everything during his time as a ref, particular in this fixture, but one does stand out above the rest.

“The day Celtic beat Rangers 6-2 was the loudest game I have ever been at. I sent off Barry Ferguson that day. Barry liked a moan but he was okay with me. But that was some day. The noise I can still remember,

“They are difficult, please believe me, but when you are a referee then this is the game you want.

“Listen, I wasn’t good enough to play football at a pro level. I would have gone into coaching but I wasn’t good enough for that. So the next best thing was refereeing an Old Firm game.”

Best thing? It doesn’t look like a best anything while watching these matches, as players swarm around the man in the middle of it all to complain about a throw-in with as much passion as a dictator making a declaration of war. And that’s the thing: the players are the ones who cause the trouble yet escape the bulk of criticism.

“It was the first Old Firm game of the 2005/06 season, Gordon Strachan had just come to Celtic, and in the first-half at Ibrox I sent off Alan Thompson,” said Dougal.

“It was a tough afternoon, lots happening, and a long day. Neil Lennon lost it at the end but I did my best to keep him on the park. Honestly, I tried not to send him off but the red mist came down and right at the end he had to go. Celtic weren’t going to win but I didn’t want the focus to be on me. I wasn’t to blame for Celtic losing. But I still got it.

“What I will say is that Lenny was fine. He would rant and rave at you, and then five minutes later be nice as anything and congratulate you on a decision he liked. He was far from the worst, believe it or not.”
Thomson will watch his performance back either tonight or tomorrow morning. It’s what all the best refs do. 

“It was horrible to see yourself getting a big one wrong. That would stay with you. I’m not going to lie,” said Dougal. “And it doesn’t just stay with the ref. A while back I was in a taxi and the driver, who was a nice bloke, asked me about some decision about a game five years before. I had to say, ‘Sorry, mate, I’ve no idea what you are one about.’

“That’s why I don’t like the idea of the referee being interviewed after a game. Take the Old Firm, right, I could have booked someone in the 87th minute, but not really remember how it happened. It’s that type of game.”

Why do it? Why someone would put themselves thought it knowing that he would be the loser no matter what is mystifying

“The top referees in England in my day, I’m talking Graham Poll and Howard Webb, would be on at me all the time about wanting to be an Old Firm referee,” said Dougal. 

“It is crazy, of course it is, but it’s also the ultimate challenge. No 
game, nowhere in the world comes close to it. 

“There are hyped games in England and I’m sure the fans don’t like each other but, come one, the Old Firm stands on its own.”

So does Dougal have any friendly advice on recovery for Thomson following an experience in which only those who have gone through it can speak of?

“I’m not afraid to say it: I had a nice bottle of red all to myself.”

This seems more than fair enough.