NOT since Comical Ali promised glorious triumph over the infidel as Baghdad collapsed around him have we witnessed such an impressive refusal to countenance reality.

Where Mohammed Al-Sahhaf, the Iraqi information minister, took to the roof of the bombed Palestine Hotel during the Gulf War to hail the slaughter of the invaders as the American tanks rolled over the River Tigris, a certain Walter de Gregorio preferred a conference room at FIFA headquarters in Zurich.

The end result was equally ludicrous, though. US forces are, again, close to bringing down a hated regime. Seven football officials, including two FIFA vice-presidents, have been arrested as the FBI investigate almost £100m of bribes linked to tournaments in the Americas.

At the same time, the Swiss Federal Office of Justice has opened criminal proceedings relating to the award of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups to Russia and Qatar on the suspicion of "criminal mismanagement and money laundering".

Incredible as the day's events are, they are no surprise to anyone who has monitored the machinations of world football's governing body over the years. The quite unique response of De Gregorio, FIFA's director of communications, was even, in itself, predictable.

"This, for FIFA, is good," he told a news conference. "It is not good in terms of image and in terms of reputation, but in terms of cleaning up, it is good.

"We are very happy about what is happening right now."

Comical Ali must be furious. Even the most committed of whirling dervishes could not dream of spinning quite as spectacularly as this.

De Gregorio puts forth the view that this is all FIFA's doing, that nothing would have happened had they not handed over key files to investigators back in November.

Naturally, it is wholly unconnected to reports from late last year that the former FIFA Executive Committee member, Chuck Blazer, had turned 'supergrass' for the US authorities and started wearing a wire to meetings with influential footballing figures. This is the same Chuck Blazer whose extravagant lifestyle, according to an investigation run by the New York Daily News, extended to hiring an apartment in Trump Tower for his cats.

He is understood to be one of four individuals to have already pleaded guilty to corruption. Make no mistake, this attempt to clean up FIFA is coming from outside rather than within.

Loretta Lynch, the US attorney general, has announced charges against nine FIFA officials and five sports business executives alleging "rampant, systemic and deep-rooted" corruption on 47 counts including racketeering, wire fraud and money laundering.

"It spans at least two generations of soccer officials who, as alleged, have abused their positions of trust to acquire millions of dollars in bribes and kickbacks," she said.

Whether we will see a moment to rival the destruction of Saddam Hussein's statue in Firdos Square in 2003, however, remains to be seen. De Gregorio has already been stuck up front to take the flak. Others are likely to be regarded as expendable as these cases progress.

Sepp Blatter, FIFA's own glorious leader, does not fall so easily, though.

The organisation's own members have the perfect opportunity to signify a new beginning in their poisoned history on Friday by ousting the 79-year-old in favour of Prince Ali bin al-Hussein of Jordan in the election for the next president. Only the brave would bet in favour of them making that collective choice, though.

Blatter has poured money into football's backwaters. FIFA's 'Goal' programme has distributed around £200m worldwide over the past 15 years. The Football Association of the Cayman Islands, whose president Jeffrey Webb was one of the men arrested this morning, has received £1.6m towards constructing facilities.

This, shall we say, has helped build a strong support base for Blatter. In a one country, one vote system, where Djibouti has as big a say as Germany, he remains in a favourable position in spite of everything.

The vote will go ahead as planned, promises de Gregorio. Blatter is "relaxed" about this latest scandal because it has nothing to do with him.

Of course it hasn't. The fingerprints of football's Teflon Don are rarely found on anything.