Saturday

And Old Firm day is upon us, all the previewing, hype, build-up and speculation is at an end and the first Celtic v Rangers league derby in four years has arrived, as did an unexpected, but welcome visitor to the Herald and Evening Times offices earlier in the week.

Veteran broadcaster James Naughtie was in Glasgow to do a piece for BBC Radio 4 on the aforementioned local derby, and having attended one press gathering (where he was politely snubbed by former Rangers boss Ally McCoist as his on-going fall out with most things Beeb continues), he rolled in to Herald Towers to interview ex-Celtic player and manager Davie Hay, a weekly fixture in the pages of the Evening Times.

Naughtie knew fine well who Davie was, recalling his move to Chelsea, asking “and when was it?”

“1974.”

“Christ,” blurted Jim, producing the kind of reaction you get when something that seems but a few years ago is actually four decades.

James regaled us with a tale of when he was working for the London bureau of another Scottish newspaper title when he came up with bright idea of reporting on the 1978 World Cup – not on the team, but embedded with Ally’s Tartan Army, adding colour to the exploits of the travelling hoards.

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He recalled how he picked up on an advance party of foot soldiers who happened to arrive at Heathrow at the same time as a group of nuns on a pilgrimage around the world.

“The supporters had won a prize to see the World Cup as prize winners of a competition run by Tennent’s.

“This was the first leg of their journey to Argentina and they stepped off the British Caledonian flight completely hammered,” he laughed. “I don’t think the nuns knew what to make of this tartan hoard. But that was just the shape of things to come for the next few weeks.”

His piece went out on Radio 4 on the Friday, one individual commenting Naughtie’s take on Celtic, Rangers, football and religion ‘was from 1930’s Glasgow.’

Bet they weren’t thinking that by Sunday …

Sunday

Avoiding the fall-out from Saturday, I have a chance to pick up on one or two new publications that have passed across my desk, and on this occasion, straight in to my own personal library.

‘A Lover’s Guide to Football Shirts’ (volume 1) by Neal Heard is the kind of book to get lost in, drunk on a heady mix of nostalgia, memories of colouring in and designing your own kit designs as a kid, and, those tops that you wore with pride at your midweek fives session.

Classic kits just pour off the pages; the instantly recognisable Dutch and Barcelona shirts from through the ages; Napoli’s ‘Mars’ and Maradona effort; and my favourite, St Etienne, emerald green with French tricolour trim, a shirt I once owned and which during the summer of 1976 my late mother threatened to shred if she saw me wearing it again. It died thanks to numerous machine washes.

The 1972 Crystal Palace number is also included. Why that club changed colours, I will never know.

There are others that for sheer comedy magic, will never be forgotten; those evidently designed, and then signed-off, either after the most enormous acid trip, or several sessions in the pub.

Note, this does not apply to the Adidas design team who are featured. Actually, on second thoughts, I’ve just seen the Germany 1994 and Club America 94-96. We’ll hold on that ‘not guilty’ call, will we?

Amongst the nominees for the ‘explosion in a paint factory’ award are Hull City, who appear to have found new ways over the years to bastardise club colours, and several entrants from the 1990’s when anything went.

If ever if the future there is a Truth and Reconciliation Commission in to the Scottish game, the SFA and Umbro had better have some good defence counsel.

Earlier I mentioned ‘volume 1’; the good news, although perhaps not for author Neal Heard, is that there has to be a volume 2, even 3. I’d imagine he’ll be inundated with the strips that got away. I’ve even offered up some myself, although those were based on classy designs, rather than being imbibed, legally or otherwise …

Monday

And, sadly, I’m asked to appear on BBC Radio Ulster’s ‘Talkback’ show to discuss the aftermath of the Old Firm game.

As with any live show you are never quite sure what to expect.  But to be asked by one caller about how long it had taken Rangers to sign a black player, and then a Roman Catholic, would suggest that one or two are still stuck in some kind of time warp.

Tuesday

Celtic’s Champions League tie against Barcelona is the story, covered for The Herald by my small but perfectly formed colleague Neil Cameron. He’d seen Barca lose on the Saturday to Alaves by 2-1, a result which left the local media asking all kinds of questions of Luis Enrique in the lead up to the game against the Scottish champions.

Read more: Scott Sinclair was left battered, bruised and bewildered after Celtic's football lesson by Barcelona

Indeed, Master Cameron reckoned that having enquired a couple of times about Celtic, the Catalan journalists sought answers to about 30 questions on how Barcelona had indeed been beaten by Alaves.

The Champions League is important in Spain. Just that La Liga is what really matters …Glasgow Times:

Wednesday  

Libby Clegg becomes a double Paralympic champion when she adds the 200m title to the 100m crown she’d captured four days earlier.

Clegg won her T11 100m heat with a world-record time but was subsequently disqualified because her guide, Chris Clarke, was deemed to have pulled her along in the race. She was later reinstated and won the final, much to the upset of the locals who jeered her medal ceremony.

She silenced them however in the best possible fashion with an outstanding run to take 200m gold although at one stage, I thought she was pulling guide Chris. Is that in the rules?

Thursday

Another appearance on the wireless, this time to discuss, ah, yes, the Old Firm. This time it’s about the pair meeting for their second instalment this term, at Ibrox, conveniently on Hogmanay.

There appears much consternation that the authorities, polis and telly have hit upon this date, with fears suddenly raised about the implications of such an occasion being held on, well, such on occasion. Many seemed genuinely shocked – as they were when I revealed that the Evening Times had voiced these concerns as far back as June 18th.

Read more: Calls to change Old Firm Hogmanay fixture over fears it will put extra pressure on emergency services​

Friday

The papers are full of Joey Barton. What a nice man. No, I mean it.

On Thursday afternoon, I was walking up Renfield Street when outside The Pavilion, a woman crossing the road when the wee red man was showing, almost took out a cyclist who mentioned something about a silly bovine, or something like.

Next around the corner was a stylish Mercedes jeep, that stopped, even with the lights on green, the driver waving the lady across the road before driving off.

The driver? None other than Joey Barton. Butter wouldn’t melt …