Chick Young

Yes, this is me, Chick Young, and as the last reverberations of the transfer window slam shut fade, all the talk is of the one big, BIG move during the transfer window.

That’s right, Scott Severin going to Kilmarnock on loan. What a sensational move. I would say, without doubt, this is THE big transfer story in Scotland this week.

Normally I would describe the transfer window as a great and exciting event but this year I just wanted it shut, and quickly.

My rationale being the sooner we shut it, the sooner we eliminate the risk of any of Rangers’ world-class players being snapped up and more importantly, we stop Celtic getting any more players through it.

And talking of THEM, what an utter failure the transfer window has been for Celtic.

Okay, last week they were linked with Lee Wallace, Diomansy Kamara, Ivan Ramis, Robert Koren, Danny Shittu, Aruna Dindane, Mohammed Abdellaoue, Kevin Kilbane, Ross McCormack, Emir Kujovic, Edson Braafheid, Marc Wilson and, of course, Paul Slane.

But they only managed to sign a few of those names, so that must constitute abject failure.

As for the Celtic players signed earlier, I have studied this month’s previous Celtic signings and my assessments are as follows.

Hooiveld? Too tall. Rasmussen? Too hacket. Rogne? Hopeless BUT what about that girlfriend of his?

And as for Braafheid? Mair like Bawheid. That’s why I honestly believe that in this transfer window Rangers deserve all the plaudits.

That old fox, Walter Smith, strengthened the Rangers side by selling Pedro Mendes and what about getting rid of Jerome Rothen? That has to be like a new signing.

And don’t forget, Walter also said that Steven Davis was the best player in Scotland so he must be and that’s better than players coming in any day!

Finally, can I just say this. Every time a transfer window comes round the Celtic fans wheel out that old chestnut, ‘Robbie Keane for Celtic’.

Let me put it to you straight – Robbie Keane to Celtic? Dream on. Don’t make me laugh. Hold on, hold on ... what’s that? I can exclusively reveal that Robbie Keane has – as I said earlier – joined Celtic.

But anyway, as last night showed, his arrival will do nothing to stop the glorious Glasgow Rangers on their quest to another magnificent title win... ho ho ho!

And finally, why do people keep coming up to me and saying ‘you must be happy with St Mirren reaching the final’. Are St Mirren supposed to mean something to me?

Gordon Strachan

Do I feel vindicated after Saturday’s 0-0 draw and the chances we missed? Aye, I am because I always knew Chris Killen had it in him to miss sitters at this level too.

And as for Barry Robson? Tremendous. He was mental in Scotland now he’s mental down here which shows that the move to the big, bright, city lights of Middlesbrough hasn’t fazed him.

We want promotion here so I want a team of winners. That’s why I’ve attempted to fill the team with players who failed to win the SPL last year like Chris, Robbo, Mick, Willo and Skippy, plus I tried for Caldo and Naka.

But I deny completely that means changing the club’s nickname from Boro to Bhoro.

Jim White

Cheers mates, this is breaking news just in ... following Hearts’ dismal 1-0 defeat to St Johnstone on Saturday, Vladimir Romanov is already threatening to sack their new manager, Jim Jefferies.

Charlie Nicholas

Csaba Laszlo? I liked the cut of his chib. He wears his hat on his sleeve and calls a spade a spade in spades. As for his sacking? But Csaba is not taking this lying down. It is my information that Laszlo started speaking to his lawyers first thing on Monday morning ... and finished just 10 minutes ago.

Tony Mowbray

Well, you know, I’ve shipped out the dead wood and built my own team which, by last night’s evidence, isn’t good enough either.

We needed a goal so I left the only guy that’s scored for us recently, Rasmussen, on the bench and brought on a midfielder, Scott Brown, who I played at left back.

But there were positive signs and we’ll win enough matches to be successful so we’ll take it on the chin. Now, I don’t actually believe any of that but I know the fans would be disappointed if I didn’t say it.

Craig Brown

Well, what can I say? Although we are classed as veterans, both Archibald Knox and I were absolutely delighted with the result on Saturday. To go all the way to Pittodrie and win is just a great result for Falkirk ... Clyde ... Kilmarnock... sorry, who is it I manage again?

Davie Provan

Hello reader, yes reader, well reader, it wasn’t about nice football for Celtic at Hamilton, it was about winning ugly.

And I’d say that’s exactly what Celtic did on Saturday, with their winning goal being scored by Morten Rasmussen.

Walter Smith

Obviously, particularly, at the present moment, I heard the rumours linking Rangers with Bolton’s Danny Shittu.

All I would say is, although I liked the player, I was reminded of the time Danny had an altercation with supporters. Then again, I suppose that’s what happens when the Shittu hits the fan.

Denis Law

Well, you know, as I said many years ago, I firmly believe that one day a team from Africa will win the African Cup of Nations and I stick by that prediction.