A lethal combination.
I was sure the old dragon would self-combust ... with any luck. But I was the one in the firing line.
"Listen," I said, "let's go find a cosy little restaurant a deux."
Blondie agreed not to dent my fenders and I agreed to grind the gears for some rub-a-dub-grub at the Fantinel Prosecco Bar @Paperinos West End.
We nabbed a window seat so the Moll could indulge her favourite pastime – people watching in Byres Road.
But I was more interested in running my peepers over the menu. I was impressed when the head honcho – an easy-going dude called Mark – suggested we try the joint's signature drink.
"Sounds good to me," said the Moll, who opted for a rose Prosecco while I made sure it was all white on the night.
This stuff had a kick like a mule – and was more sparkling than Blondie's bling.
My new buddy Mark duly arrived with a few gems of his own in the shape of a couple of small starters which put me in the mood for a Roman holiday.
It meant the Moll and I could pick and mix the likes of crostinis, and arrosticini.
I made a beeline for the arrosticini – chargrilled beef skewers – and I was hooked.
They were nippily hot and oozing that oakey flavour I love from the grill.
There were three on the plate and each one was a home run all the way – and top value.
For once, Toots and I were on the same page, although she was more of a crostini gal.
I helped her tuck into a triple and agreed they were delicious.
The smoked salmon and mascarpone cheese went together like Lennon and McCartney – and a generous smattering of garlic, tomato and basil made it a hit all the way.
My tastebuds were doing the fandango at the Fantinel – and they weren't the only ones.
There was hardly a spare seat in the house. The place was buzzing with happy punters.
We ordered an action replay on the Prosecco front before giving the food more thought.
By now, I was ready for an assault on the mains event.
I had already seen a guy at the next table tuck into a giant slice of Cajun chicken and the smell was good enough to put me on full Lousiana alert.
Most joints usually give you one slice of poultry buried under a mountain of salad, but the Fantinel had taken the value-for-money route right to the bank.
My plate was heaving with the daddy of all chickens – it was falling over the sides.
Fair enough, but size ain't everything – and the Tec jury had still to deliver its verdict.
But Fantinel's defence was rock solid- the chicken was beautifully moist and stoked with creole-type flavours. It reigns as the best in the city.
The only thing missing was a Mardi Gras jazz band.
The chips were perhaps a little too thin for my taste but that's a minor gripe. The salad and wonderful onions more than made up for it.
Across the table, the Moll was as happy as a mosquito in a nudist colony.
Being a classy broad, she opted for a classic dish. Her pasta dish came under the tried and tested category, but it was no less excellent for that.
Nothing too complicated but the penne Contadina oozed home-made pasta flavours.
The bacon, courgettes and mushrooms were perfectly balanced, which meant the traditional pasta taste still won through. And the white wine sauce was simply exquisite.
"So that's what the Italians mean by amore," she said.
Dessert was tempting but my waistline was already giving out full-up signals while the Moll was happy to quit while we were well ahead.
A large espresso for Blondie and an Irish coffee for the Tec put the full stop on our excellent adventure to the Fantinel.
And the economy-sized bill ensured this is one place that's always going to be in credit with the Tec.
Trio of crostini £4.50
Chargrilled beef skewers £4.50
Cajun chicken, salad and chips £12.90
Pasta with bacon, mushrooms and courgettes in white wine sauce £9.30
Two white Fantinel £8.70
Two Rose Fantinel £8.70
Large espresso £2.30
Irish coffee £4.95
FANTINEL PROSECCO BAR @ PAPERINO'S WEST END, 227 BYRES ROAD, GLASGOW (0141 334 3811)