For Still Game fans heading to the Hydro by train the comedy will be starting early.

To the horror of ScotRail staff – and the amusement of passengers – Jack and Victor have taken over the tannoy system at Exhibition Centre station.

The grouchy pensioner duo have done their best with various safety announcements for travellers through the busy railway station.

But a few off-the-cuff remarks might have station managers cringing. Jack makes an effort to play it straight but for each station message, Victor has a wee bit extra to add.

They have something to say about the six most important safety announcements – CCTV, smoking, using the full length of the platform, doors closing, watch your footing and trains not stopping.

Jack manages: “For the safety and security of all the customers and the staff this station is covered by CCTV cameras with a direct link to British Transport Police and Police Scotland,” before Victor chips in with “We’re talking about you, you wido. You know who you are.”

As Jack advises passengers to stand clear of the platform edge, Victor adds in: “Nae shoving and that, no bunching up, for God’s sake.”

Sensible Jack says: “We want to keep our stations smoke free so you’re reminded that smoking the use of e-cigarettes and vaporisers are not allowed in any areas of the station including the open platform,” but Victor spoils it with, “Or the waccy baccy. Aye, none of that.”

And Jack tells travellers: “Please watch your footing on all station areas and take care when getting on and off the train. That’s pretty obvious that wan, in’t it?” as Victor chimes in: “Mind the gap and that.”

Of course, the station messages were recorded by actors Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill, whose Still Game stage show returns to the Hydro on Saturday.

The show – featuring co-stars Paul Riley (Winston), Jane McCarry (Isa), Sanjeev Kohli (Navid), Gavin Mitchell (Boabby the barman) and Mark Cox (Tam) – runs until February 16.

Nesta Gilliland, head of marketing and sales at the ScotRail Alliance, said: “Jack and Victor have added a bit of spice to our station announcements, which are sure to provide our customers with a few extra laughs.”