AGONISING over what to get your loved one this Christmas? Worry no more! The SNP is offering its members a “mail order exclusive” featuring a series of tantalising Yuletide gifts. Its "festive limited editions" include a £25 “multifunctional polyster [sic] laptop bag” and an SNP-branded "Filofax Nappa Leather A4 Notebook Cover" for just £95. What a treat!

IF none of those float your boat, you could always opt for a 'cool bag' – not at all tragic in any way, shape or form, you understand – for just £5, complete with Stronger For Scotland branding. Or perhaps a £95 SNP "Cross Townsend Lustrous Chrome Ballpoint Pen" might find its way into Santa's sack? Don't worry too much about stocks running out – we're sure they'll last.

IT'S been a tough weeks for politicians. At a dinner organised by the Federation of Small Businesses, Nicola Sturgeon came under pressure from a table of youngsters urging her to down shots of Sambuca. She later told guests: "I still have a few quite difficult Brexit calls to do, I won’t tell you who with, but it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to do these calls after some shots of Sambuca." She paused, before adding: "On second thoughts it might be a really good idea."

ELSEWHERE, a source provides a distressing glimpse into the private life of interim Scottish Tory leader Jackson Carlaw, who is stepping in for Ruth Davidson while she's off on maternity leave. Standing behind him in the Holyrood cafe queue, they watched as Mr Carlaw made his morning order: weak tea with lots of milk, a plain scone with no jam and a copy of the Daily Mail. A heartbreaking start to the day.

CRACKING effort from beleaguered ScotRail boss Alex Hynes, who set new records in slipperiness as he gave evidence to Holyrood’s Rural Economy and Connectivity Committee. MSPs wanted to know whether ScotRail had received an advance payment of £23m to shore up its finances. In a pound-shop impression of Michael Howard vs Paxman, he dodged the question no less than eight times. No need to be transparent, Alex – it’s just taxpayers’ money.

STILL, at least Mr Hynes can be sure he’s got one fan. Nat gaff-magnet John Mason sang the praises of Scotland’s rail network during a Labour debate on the future of ScotRail on Wednesday. He informed an enthralled chamber that trains were his “favourite means of transport”. On Saturday, he added, he took no less than seven train journeys. “That included a conference in the morning, shopping in the city centre, football in the afternoon, a concert in the evening and getting home. All seven were excellent services that ran on time.” Thanks for that John!