AS a rule of thumb, if you've pissed off Piers Morgan, you're on to a winner.

If you're a large brand trying to flog things, that is.

If the right-leaning commentator and TV presenter becomes incensed by the existence of the product you're flogging then yaldy - let the tills jingle.

Look at the Greggs vegan sausage roll. Mr Morgan hated it, he talked about it on a television programme with more than two million viewers and lo! a whole host of free advertising for Greggs.

M&S's marketing department must have been on the edge of its not just a seat, waiting to see if Piers would take against the retailers new version of Percy Pig.

I loathe the overuse and misuse of the word iconic but Percy is the closest thing to earning the label I can think of.

By 2010 two Percy Pigs were being eaten every second in the UK with 10 million bags sold each year, even though the lolly had had no advertising.

Well, he's had some advertising now.

It's become the default setting of a certain demographic to rail against anything vegan.

Percy's new incarnation is slight less offensive, being only vegetarian, but it was enough to make Mr Morgan's ire rise.

To M&S's sure delight, Mr Morgan took absolute umbrage to the recipe redesign and spat them out live on air.

Before you knew it, a tabloid newspaper had a front page campaign to bring back the original version.

It was like Irn Bru all over again, if Irn Bru fans were calling for the slaughter of animals to satisfy their sweet cravings.

Percy Pigs are now vegetarian because the gelatine has been removed.

Gelatine, of course, comes from the skin and bones of cows... and pigs.

So you have to feel a little sorry for Percy: Britain's most famous pig needs the death of its swine cousins to exist.

And because modern capitalism in the age of social media means the consumer can feed back en masse instantly to the seller, M&S has already capitulated over Percy.

On Friday the high street retailer announced it would convene a panel of 100 Percy "mega fans" to meet on May 16 and debate whether M&S should do a special edition Percy with real pig extract.

Good for them. Imagine being so passionate about a jelly sweetie you'd want to actively campaign for the death of animals to fulfil your craving.

Not satisfied with having Percy Pig polarise the nation, M&S has caused a further controversy with its new LGBT-themed sandwich.

Launched ahead of Pride, the sandwich is marketed as a celebration of the LGBT community and is being sold to raise money for charity, namely the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT) – a charity dedicated to helping homeless LGBT+ youth – and BeLong to Youth Services – an organisation supporting LGBT+ young people in Ireland.

The Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato sandwich (see what they did there) is to raise money for charity, yes, and for Marks and Spencer.

Is it LGBT visibility and support? Is it cynical? Can it be both? I like it better than Burger King's latest endeavour.

In the US Burger King is sort of supporting Mental Health Awareness Month in May with the launch of its Real Meals, boxed up in either the Blue Meal, the Salty Meal, the DGAF Meal, the Salty Meal, and the Pissed meal.

Don't make mine the last.

The idea is that people feel how they feel and these feelings should be acknowledged and not judged.

Fair enough, but it quickly become capitalism eating itself when you realise the whole thing is a pop at McDonald's.

The meals come in boxes reminiscent of Happy Meals with the slogan "No one is happy all the time."

Nice one, Burger King, use mental health to have a go at your rival.

Big business wants to sell things and people want to buy things - no surprise there.

You know what I'm on the edge of my seat for?

At the Scottish Conservative conference in Aberdeen last week, Scottish Secretary David Mundell branded SNP plans for an independent Scotland to have its own currency as "Nicola Sturgeon’s chocolate money".

It's a childish jibe and tiresome given we're living in a political climate that could really do with a sprucing up of our attitudes, language and respect for one another.

But what a marketing opportunity, eh?

M&S, if it's willing, or any chocolatier who's able, should right now be churning out as many chocolate coins with Ms Sturgeon's face on them as possible.

The next time there's an All Under One Banner march, like Saturday's event, they'd be laughing.

As would Mr Mundell, but you can't have everything.