WHY should I always be paying the bill on dates?

Dear Janice,

Why does every girl I date expect me to pay for absolutely everything? 

I thought perhaps a few dates down the line, someone would offer to at least buy a drink, but no.

Some earned a lot more than me, but it made no difference.

I hinted to my last date, but she looked horrified and stated, “princesses don’t pay”.

It looks as though I’ll need to get into debt if I want to have a long-term girlfriend.

Am I being unrealistic in hoping someone will meet me halfway now and then?

Jack.

Dear Jack,

Unfortunately, there are lots of so-called ‘Princesses’ who are destined to remain single due to their imaginary entitlement in this world.

I do believe though, that the guy should take the lead and pay in the beginning, but you shouldn’t be expected to bank-roll every single date.

Wine and dine to start with and then introduce walks, hiking, cooking nights in, dropping in on friends for drinks etc. There are so many activities you can do together which won’t rip a hole in your pocket, or land you in debt.

Remember, fairytales are for the disillusioned, so leave these disenchanted princesses in their ivory tower, because I can assure you, if a female wants to spend time with you, she will, regardless of how much you spend on her.

 

Dear Janice,

Despite my partner and I living together for four years, he is still very much involved with his former wife. (They’re still not even divorced).

He set up accounts and pays her bills. If her car needs a service or her boiler packs in, it’s he who deals with it.

She just calls him, and it’s sorted. However, I imagined by now that she would have stopped relying on him.

He does this for our household too, so it seems contradictory of me to keep bringing up the fact that it upsets me.

I just want her to be in his past, not our present.

Am I wrong?

Margaret.

Dear Margaret,

If this lady was incapacitated in any way, fine, but if not, she should be totally self-sufficient and independent of her ex by now.

That said, he is doing this of his own free will and has made it ‘his job’.

Tell him you would be clueless should anything happen to him as you (and his ex), wouldn’t know how to start managing your bills.

It is good practice for every couple to create a book detailing their utility account information and contacts, including passwords and logins, should the need arise.

His ex should have no reasonable reason to ask him for help thereafter.

He can’t please everyone, and he knows it, therefore tell him clearly that you don’t want his ex lurking in the shadows for the rest of your days and he needs to back off.

I can’t imagine a new partner in her life accepting this situation either.

Good luck.